Warm Up: I Timothy 1: 12-19, I Timothy 4: 12
I remember getting ready to go to college. It was not too long ago, in fact. My discipleship group leader decided we should read a book that would prepare us for all the spiritual matters we would encounter in college. Unfortunately, he had trouble finding anything that was both good and aimed towards future college students. Eventually, we wound up reading a book that had excellent things to say and touched on college, but was still not exactly what we were looking for.
I later decided that I, being a college student, should do something about the lack of writing that pertained to the college student’s Christian life. I cannot promise it will be any good, but at least I can properly aim for the subject matter. I enjoy writing and even if I do not make a cent off this blog, I can still hope that it will impact someone out there. Speaking of cents, here is lesson number one about college: Most students are poor and always trying to make money and are as cheep as possible. Some people may think we have money since we do not have any “real” responsibilities, but this is simply false. For instance, guess what happened to me during my Freshmen year. A couple of my friends paid me two dollars to go up to the sweet tea machine and drink straight out of it. Now normally, I may not have done that. But seeing as I did not have money and was quickly running out of soap I knew there was only one thing to do. I promptly walked to the machine and stuck my mouth right under the flow of sweet tea in front of the entire dining hall. There are two important morals for this story. The first is to accept anything that someone offers you for free in college (Unless it is illegal! Or from someone you do not know and is consumption based!). By senior year, my wardrobe was made up entirely of free t-shirts. The second moral is to take advantage of the summer jobs and save as much as you can before you get to school. And now, to the real deal…
Just so you have an idea of where I am coming from in this blog, I am (or was if this is being read after 2009, possibly 2010 or 2011 depending on how my grades work out) a student at The University of Georgia in the great city of Athens. It is currently one of the top ten party schools in the nation and the second best sports college town in the nation (according to magazines who know what they are talking about). Academics are fairly tough here and will be getting tougher. People are friendly, and for the most part there is little hostility towards Christianity, but there is also a severe lack of authentic belief. Everything in this book/blog is the result of something I have either learned or relearned on a deeper level while in college. I hope that my little collection of thoughts and ideas will help prepare future or current students for college in a spiritual way that has never been done before. To those readers who are already in college, I am sure you will be able to identify with and appreciate many things I blabber about in the future postings, and hope that they will give you some things to think about.
College is one of the most significant transitions a person will make in life. Kids no longer live with their parents and no one tells them what to do. People take on new responsibilities like doing their own laundry and feeding themselves. Everyone will encounter more temptations than they could even imagine existed in the world. Students will meet countless new people and some of them will become truly lifelong friends. College is a blast, but if you are not prepared spiritually than you are going to get hurt.
Universities have become more and more diverse over the years. As a result I have met people with different backgrounds, skin colors, religious beliefs, study habits, political beliefs and anything else you can think of. From my interactions with all these people, from spending time in God’s word, from listening to people who are smarter than me, and from screwing up I have learned a great deal about what it means to be a light in the dark and salt to the world.
I am asked to write tons of thesis statements for papers in school. You probably are too. Consider this my thesis for the book: God is perfect. We cannot even come close. I blew it, and so did you. You are just as bad as everyone else who is a sinner at your school. Thankfully, God has pulled some serious strings and now we have the freedom to not blow it anymore. The only way we will stop blowing it and actually have an impact on our campus, however, is to realize that we are jacked up and in dire need of God’s grace and forgiveness. Maybe you have heard what I just said many times in your life, and maybe you have not. Either way, experience after experience has taught me how little an “upstanding intellectual” like myself really understands about grace. So stay with me through this blog, and maybe you will learn more about grace in the same ways I still am.
One last thing, the format of this baby is simple, and you have probably figured it out for yourself. Each topic should take you about ten or fifteen minutes to read, including the “warm-up.” The warm-up is at the start of each topic and is a bit of scripture that has to do with the topic being discussed. Devotional and supplemental materials like this blog can help you in your walk, but they cannot hold a candle to what scripture can do in your life. I even make it easy for you; if you click the scripture in the warm up it is a link to the actual scripture. And now, if you have made it this far without falling asleep, congratulations, you’ve done more than I normally can when reading. I hope you enjoy my ruminations (that's right, college word baby!) and keep coming back for more!
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
Monday, August 24, 2009
Choosing a Life Major
Warm up: John 6:1-13
During your high school and college years a particular question pops up many times. It may come from your parents, your relatives, your friend’s nosey parents, and even yourself. “What am I going to do with my life?” Everyone has a desire for their life to count for something and everyone seeks a certain purpose in the world. It is a big world, however, and sometimes making a difference in it can seem like a daunting task.
Fortunately, there is someone on our side who holds the world in the palm of his hand. Making a difference in this world is like taking a breath of air for Him. In fact, creating it just took a few words. Through Him, any one can make such a huge impact on the world that even the person God is using will have trouble believing it is happening. One girl, Esther, was able to save all of her people simply because she used the position God had given her and was willing to risk her life and speak with the king. A small boy named David was able to defeat a Giant and cause the turning point in a war simply because he knew how to use a sling shot and offered his gift to God. In John 6, a small boy does not have much, just a couple of fish and some bread. Despite the little he has, he offers it to Jesus and believes something good will come out of it.
The focus of this story is not what the little boy did. Rather, the focus is on what God did through the little boy. Perhaps this boy was naïve, or maybe he still had the faith of a child, but for some reason he believed Jesus could do something great with what little he had. Now that we can see the full story, one thing is for sure. He wasn’t naïve, he was right. Jesus took what the little boy had, an insignificant amount of food, and turned it into a feast for thousands of people. Everyone of us is like the little boy compared to God. None of us are gifted enough to make a difference with eternal value in the world. But if we offer ourselves, and our gifts, to God, then He will do incredible things with them.
What gifts has God given you? What is He asking you to give back to Him so that He may use it in an incredible way? Are you a gifted musician who He wants use by bringing people into his throne room through worship? Are you a gifted accountant who He wants to use by bringing integrity to a particular firm? Are you a great sports player and he wants to use your talents and influence on the professional level for evangelism? You may not be that good at many things, but God has gifted you in some area and when you find it, the best thing you can do is offer your gift to God. If you do, He will do something amazing with it.
There are a few good questions to ask yourself in determining where God wants you to go in life. The first question is, “Does what I am doing bring God more glory?” The job or career you are pursuing should not be a job you are pursuing because you think it will bring you contentment, but because you think God will use you in awesome ways there. This does not mean that you have to become a pastor or join a monastery; it simply means that where you go in life should not be about your glory. It should be about God’s glory. The beauty of pursuing God’s glory is that when we make our job about Him, we achieve a much higher tier of satisfaction than was possible when we were working only for our own contentment.
The apostle Paul is a fine example of this because he did not make a living off of being a minister, but instead he made a living by being a tent maker. I do not think there is anyone in the world who would argue that Paul did not make a huge impact on all of history. Despite not being a full time minister, his career still gave him the ability to be a incredible witness and bring God glory.
The second question to ask is, “Do my gifts fit the career I am choosing?” Sometimes it is easy for us to see someone else finding great success in bringing God glory and desire to have the same job as them. For instance, a man who sees another man coaching high school football. The coach has incredible influence on his players and is able to help them move towards Christ. The person who sees this decides he wants to be a football coach as well so that he can have the same influence. The only problem is, he knows nothing about football or athletics. It is tempting for us to desire to do something we hate or have no talent in because we have seen God use others in the same field. We make ourselves believe that we are making a great sacrifice for God in order to further his kingdom, but really all we are doing is wasting a great deal of people’s time, including our own. If you try and do something for God that you are not gifted in, you will quickly find yourself getting worn out and bogged down with responsibility.
The church is a body, each person with a unique role and gift. I have found that when I perform the tasks that I am gifted in, I become more energized as I do them and get better as I go on. On the other hand, when I do jobs that I don’t particularly care for, I get worn out real quickly and am not able to do them as well. God knows how He gifted you, so He probably is not going to call you to do something you have no skill in. That does not mean he might enable you to do something bigger than you would ever dream of, but He is most likely going to work through your gifts He gave you.
There is definitely a certain risk in choosing a career or searching for a purpose, but your purpose is out there. You may not know what God’s calling for your life is until you are fifty or seventy, but He has one for you. It may be at your work, it may be at your kid’s baseball games, it may even be feeding the multitudes with what little you have to offer. God is not asking us to change the world, He is asking us to take a step of faith and offer what we have to Him. We may not know what He will do with those small gifts, but if we give Him control, the sky is the limit.
If you are unsure of what your gifts are, talk with some people you care about you and know well. You may be surprised to hear how they encourage you. There are also plenty of tests you can find online that will help guide you in determining your gift set, so try some of them (I am not referring to the facebook quizzes about which Disney character you are). Lastly, the things you are passionate about doing are probably the things you are gifted in. Choose your major and your career based off of your gifts, and give your gifts to God. You will love it.
During your high school and college years a particular question pops up many times. It may come from your parents, your relatives, your friend’s nosey parents, and even yourself. “What am I going to do with my life?” Everyone has a desire for their life to count for something and everyone seeks a certain purpose in the world. It is a big world, however, and sometimes making a difference in it can seem like a daunting task.
Fortunately, there is someone on our side who holds the world in the palm of his hand. Making a difference in this world is like taking a breath of air for Him. In fact, creating it just took a few words. Through Him, any one can make such a huge impact on the world that even the person God is using will have trouble believing it is happening. One girl, Esther, was able to save all of her people simply because she used the position God had given her and was willing to risk her life and speak with the king. A small boy named David was able to defeat a Giant and cause the turning point in a war simply because he knew how to use a sling shot and offered his gift to God. In John 6, a small boy does not have much, just a couple of fish and some bread. Despite the little he has, he offers it to Jesus and believes something good will come out of it.
The focus of this story is not what the little boy did. Rather, the focus is on what God did through the little boy. Perhaps this boy was naïve, or maybe he still had the faith of a child, but for some reason he believed Jesus could do something great with what little he had. Now that we can see the full story, one thing is for sure. He wasn’t naïve, he was right. Jesus took what the little boy had, an insignificant amount of food, and turned it into a feast for thousands of people. Everyone of us is like the little boy compared to God. None of us are gifted enough to make a difference with eternal value in the world. But if we offer ourselves, and our gifts, to God, then He will do incredible things with them.
What gifts has God given you? What is He asking you to give back to Him so that He may use it in an incredible way? Are you a gifted musician who He wants use by bringing people into his throne room through worship? Are you a gifted accountant who He wants to use by bringing integrity to a particular firm? Are you a great sports player and he wants to use your talents and influence on the professional level for evangelism? You may not be that good at many things, but God has gifted you in some area and when you find it, the best thing you can do is offer your gift to God. If you do, He will do something amazing with it.
There are a few good questions to ask yourself in determining where God wants you to go in life. The first question is, “Does what I am doing bring God more glory?” The job or career you are pursuing should not be a job you are pursuing because you think it will bring you contentment, but because you think God will use you in awesome ways there. This does not mean that you have to become a pastor or join a monastery; it simply means that where you go in life should not be about your glory. It should be about God’s glory. The beauty of pursuing God’s glory is that when we make our job about Him, we achieve a much higher tier of satisfaction than was possible when we were working only for our own contentment.
The apostle Paul is a fine example of this because he did not make a living off of being a minister, but instead he made a living by being a tent maker. I do not think there is anyone in the world who would argue that Paul did not make a huge impact on all of history. Despite not being a full time minister, his career still gave him the ability to be a incredible witness and bring God glory.
The second question to ask is, “Do my gifts fit the career I am choosing?” Sometimes it is easy for us to see someone else finding great success in bringing God glory and desire to have the same job as them. For instance, a man who sees another man coaching high school football. The coach has incredible influence on his players and is able to help them move towards Christ. The person who sees this decides he wants to be a football coach as well so that he can have the same influence. The only problem is, he knows nothing about football or athletics. It is tempting for us to desire to do something we hate or have no talent in because we have seen God use others in the same field. We make ourselves believe that we are making a great sacrifice for God in order to further his kingdom, but really all we are doing is wasting a great deal of people’s time, including our own. If you try and do something for God that you are not gifted in, you will quickly find yourself getting worn out and bogged down with responsibility.
The church is a body, each person with a unique role and gift. I have found that when I perform the tasks that I am gifted in, I become more energized as I do them and get better as I go on. On the other hand, when I do jobs that I don’t particularly care for, I get worn out real quickly and am not able to do them as well. God knows how He gifted you, so He probably is not going to call you to do something you have no skill in. That does not mean he might enable you to do something bigger than you would ever dream of, but He is most likely going to work through your gifts He gave you.
There is definitely a certain risk in choosing a career or searching for a purpose, but your purpose is out there. You may not know what God’s calling for your life is until you are fifty or seventy, but He has one for you. It may be at your work, it may be at your kid’s baseball games, it may even be feeding the multitudes with what little you have to offer. God is not asking us to change the world, He is asking us to take a step of faith and offer what we have to Him. We may not know what He will do with those small gifts, but if we give Him control, the sky is the limit.
If you are unsure of what your gifts are, talk with some people you care about you and know well. You may be surprised to hear how they encourage you. There are also plenty of tests you can find online that will help guide you in determining your gift set, so try some of them (I am not referring to the facebook quizzes about which Disney character you are). Lastly, the things you are passionate about doing are probably the things you are gifted in. Choose your major and your career based off of your gifts, and give your gifts to God. You will love it.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Football
Warm-up: Acts 17:16-21
Extra Credit: Acts 17:22-34
Football is kind of a big deal at the University of Georgia. I mean, a really big deal. If you have never been to an SEC football game, you are missing out. If you are a fan of a team outside the SEC and have some biased view about the SEC being overrated, get over it. You are wrong. The football here is crazy, the competition is unreal, and the heat during September games is unbearable. But people find a way to bear it, because they want to watch football that bad.
The hype surrounding UGA during the off-season before my senior year was out of control. We had Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, and a preseason ranking of number one in the nation. Everyone in Athens was buzzing, and the place could hardly keep from exploding from excitement. This was also the same summer I went to Fiji and New Zealand.
When I was traveling around, I met people from all over the world. Most of them had heard of college football, but few knew anything about it. My friends I travelled with and I were so excited about Georgia football, that if at any point we perceived a way to begin discussing the game with people, we did. We went on and on about how huge it was, how 92,000 people filled the stands every game, about how much money it cost to have season tickets, and about how good Georgia could be. And the funny thing was, these people could care less about college football.
Our excitement about the subject, however, compelled them to listen. And even though we may have lost them here or there, they were still impressed by some of the things we said. Finally, after all our rambling was done, we would usually apologize by saying, “Sorry, but it is just not a good idea to get people from the South talking about college football. Especially when they have a really good team.”
After my trip I had a huge epiphany, and it made me feel pretty shallow. “Imagine,” I thought, “what kind of an impact I would have had if I were as excited to talk about the gospel as I was to talk about football.”
Ouch.
Why is it, that I can have no shame in talking about football and jump at every chance to say everything I can about how great it is, but I rarely jump at a chance to discuss the gospel? What is stopping me? Maybe it goes back to identity and I am more nervous about people finding out I am a “Jesus Fan” than a “Georgia Fan.” Maybe it is because I am simply not as excited about God. That thought is horrible because if it were true that would mean I am more pumped about a kid who can run fast and juke people than having the Creator of the universe on my team.
It’s really kind of embarrassing. And football is not the only thing I get more excited about than God. There is my wife, my random projects, my bike riding, movies (The Dark Knight was a prime example during the same summer as UGA football), and countless other things.
God and the Gospel are the most exciting things ever in the history of the universe. Seriously. The maker of Heaven and Earth loves us so much that He came and died for us. That does not just happen everyday! I know, I know, that is a cliché statement, but just sit there and think about how ridiculous that is.
Think about it, think about it…
Yeah. I know it is nuts. Not only does He love all his people, but He loves you. Just you, as a person, despite all of your problems and screw-ups. Now that is something to get excited about. I could go on trying to convince you to get excited, but I guess the best thing to do is tell you a story about a man named Derek. I went to Poland with my church in high school for a mission trip. We had a great time and ministered to people through sports and Vacation Bible Study. Derek was one of the guys who was always with us. Every chance he got, he would tell people the awesome story of what God had done in his life.
Derek grew up and had a great future ahead of him. He was amazing at soccer and eventually played on the national level. But somewhere along the way, Derek realized he was not content with life. Seeking out a solution, he turned to alcohol. He drank more and more everyday, and eventually got to the point where he would fill up his water bottle with Vodka during soccer games and consume the entire thing while he played. He had become so consumed with alcohol that he could not even enjoy his favorite sport without it.
And then, one day, God walked into Derek’s life. There was a radical transformation and he fell so in love with Jesus that he gave up alcohol cold turkey. It was such a sudden change that he even endured physical problems, but he refused to even consider giving into his old temptations. Such a huge change can really only be explained by one thing: God. I do not believe that anyone can instantly gives up that much alcohol on their own. Clearly, God stepped into Derek’s life and changed it forever.
Derek’s joy about his salvation and the work in his life was apparent to everyone he met. I wish I were more like Derek. I may not have been an alcoholic, but the only reason I did not become one is that God entered into my life and caused radical change in my heart before I could choose Derek’s old lifestyle. I should be excited about that! Much more excited about it than Georgia’s preseason ranking. The world needs more people like Derek. The only hope I, or anyone else has of being as excited as Derek is to spend time with God. When I taste God’s goodness, when I experience His peace, when I am reminded of how screwed up I am and how much more screwed up I could really be, there is only one appropriate reaction: To praise the God of Creation and to shout the good news to everyone I meet.
Extra Credit: Acts 17:22-34
Football is kind of a big deal at the University of Georgia. I mean, a really big deal. If you have never been to an SEC football game, you are missing out. If you are a fan of a team outside the SEC and have some biased view about the SEC being overrated, get over it. You are wrong. The football here is crazy, the competition is unreal, and the heat during September games is unbearable. But people find a way to bear it, because they want to watch football that bad.
The hype surrounding UGA during the off-season before my senior year was out of control. We had Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, and a preseason ranking of number one in the nation. Everyone in Athens was buzzing, and the place could hardly keep from exploding from excitement. This was also the same summer I went to Fiji and New Zealand.
When I was traveling around, I met people from all over the world. Most of them had heard of college football, but few knew anything about it. My friends I travelled with and I were so excited about Georgia football, that if at any point we perceived a way to begin discussing the game with people, we did. We went on and on about how huge it was, how 92,000 people filled the stands every game, about how much money it cost to have season tickets, and about how good Georgia could be. And the funny thing was, these people could care less about college football.
Our excitement about the subject, however, compelled them to listen. And even though we may have lost them here or there, they were still impressed by some of the things we said. Finally, after all our rambling was done, we would usually apologize by saying, “Sorry, but it is just not a good idea to get people from the South talking about college football. Especially when they have a really good team.”
After my trip I had a huge epiphany, and it made me feel pretty shallow. “Imagine,” I thought, “what kind of an impact I would have had if I were as excited to talk about the gospel as I was to talk about football.”
Ouch.
Why is it, that I can have no shame in talking about football and jump at every chance to say everything I can about how great it is, but I rarely jump at a chance to discuss the gospel? What is stopping me? Maybe it goes back to identity and I am more nervous about people finding out I am a “Jesus Fan” than a “Georgia Fan.” Maybe it is because I am simply not as excited about God. That thought is horrible because if it were true that would mean I am more pumped about a kid who can run fast and juke people than having the Creator of the universe on my team.
It’s really kind of embarrassing. And football is not the only thing I get more excited about than God. There is my wife, my random projects, my bike riding, movies (The Dark Knight was a prime example during the same summer as UGA football), and countless other things.
God and the Gospel are the most exciting things ever in the history of the universe. Seriously. The maker of Heaven and Earth loves us so much that He came and died for us. That does not just happen everyday! I know, I know, that is a cliché statement, but just sit there and think about how ridiculous that is.
Think about it, think about it…
Yeah. I know it is nuts. Not only does He love all his people, but He loves you. Just you, as a person, despite all of your problems and screw-ups. Now that is something to get excited about. I could go on trying to convince you to get excited, but I guess the best thing to do is tell you a story about a man named Derek. I went to Poland with my church in high school for a mission trip. We had a great time and ministered to people through sports and Vacation Bible Study. Derek was one of the guys who was always with us. Every chance he got, he would tell people the awesome story of what God had done in his life.
Derek grew up and had a great future ahead of him. He was amazing at soccer and eventually played on the national level. But somewhere along the way, Derek realized he was not content with life. Seeking out a solution, he turned to alcohol. He drank more and more everyday, and eventually got to the point where he would fill up his water bottle with Vodka during soccer games and consume the entire thing while he played. He had become so consumed with alcohol that he could not even enjoy his favorite sport without it.
And then, one day, God walked into Derek’s life. There was a radical transformation and he fell so in love with Jesus that he gave up alcohol cold turkey. It was such a sudden change that he even endured physical problems, but he refused to even consider giving into his old temptations. Such a huge change can really only be explained by one thing: God. I do not believe that anyone can instantly gives up that much alcohol on their own. Clearly, God stepped into Derek’s life and changed it forever.
Derek’s joy about his salvation and the work in his life was apparent to everyone he met. I wish I were more like Derek. I may not have been an alcoholic, but the only reason I did not become one is that God entered into my life and caused radical change in my heart before I could choose Derek’s old lifestyle. I should be excited about that! Much more excited about it than Georgia’s preseason ranking. The world needs more people like Derek. The only hope I, or anyone else has of being as excited as Derek is to spend time with God. When I taste God’s goodness, when I experience His peace, when I am reminded of how screwed up I am and how much more screwed up I could really be, there is only one appropriate reaction: To praise the God of Creation and to shout the good news to everyone I meet.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Roommates
Warm Up: Matthew 7:1-12
Living with people is sometimes a new experience for people at college. It can be really fun, or it can really stink. In fact, sometimes it can literally stink. After observing people who have succeeded and people who have failed at being a roommate, I have some tips for living with others.
Let us begin by clearing up a common misconception. Many people say it is a bad idea to live with your best friend, but I do not buy into that for a second. I lived with my lifelong best friend and we had a great time together. In fact, we successfully lived together for two years. The problem is never how well you know the person you are living with, and if there are problems they can usually be solved. If you follow these tips, there is a very good chance you will have a fun and worthwhile time with your roommates, even if you are sharing a space that feels like twenty square feet.
The number one thing to remember is probably the one thing nobody wants to do: be humble. So many arguments and conflicts would be completely avoided if someone would just lower their pride. Sometimes pride can cause the stupidest arguments the world has ever seen. During freshman year, my roommate and I had an argument because I took some of his gum without asking. It made him really mad, but I did not think I had done anything wrong because I had given him some of my food earlier. In my mind gum was not a big deal, and really in his mind it was not either, he simply wanted me to ask for something that belonged to him.
If I had just apologized and said, “I will ask for gum from now on,” there would not have been an argument. Instead, I decided I wanted to be right and would not give in. After a few hours or a couple days, I don’t really remember how long it went on, I finally apologized and the argument ended. It was fairly awkward in the room, however, and the gum incident could have led to more intense arguments. Looking back, I know the whole situation could have been avoided with a simple act of humility on my part. Sometimes that act of humility is not easy to do, but when I think about it I would much rather humble myself, which God calls me to do anyway, than go through days, weeks, or even months of tension and awkwardness with the person I live with 24/7.
The second tip is to have a sense of humor. This is something that is not always easy to have, especially for certain people. I do believe there is a level of intentionality, however, that can give anyone the ability to laugh at things. There is always a choice: laugh, or get angry. When a roommate spills milk on your bed, you can either cry about it or laugh at it. When your roommate breaks the futon, you could either get mad or laugh about it. When your roommate accidentally uses your toothpaste, you can either get really ticked and tell all your friends about the problem, or laugh about it and go buy a new one. Obviously, there are certain things a roommate may do that you should not and cannot laugh at. But if they make a mistake and it is an accident, try and not be uptight about it, but be willing to laugh about it. More often than not, if you can laugh at your roommate’s mistakes, he or she will be able to laugh at your mistakes too.
The third tip is crucial. If you have a problem with your roommate, let them know about it. I cannot stress this enough, so many people are afraid of conflict with a roommate that rather than addressing conflict when it begins, they let it linger until it slowly develops into a much bigger issue that ends in an all out explosion of roommate angst and bitterness. There is a misconception in the world that telling someone they are doing something annoying or hurtful will make the other person hate you. Conflict can be handled without destruction and gnashing of teeth. I have found that many times when I present a complaint to one of my roommates, they did not even realize that they were doing something wrong and they immediately fixed the problem.
If your roommate is printing off pages when you want to sleep, let him or her know that it is keeping you awake and you need to sleep. If your roommate is constantly eating your food or wearing your clothes without asking, let them know that is annoys you and they need to ask before taking something. You should be ready, however, because if your roommate is being bothered by something you do there is a good chance they will let you know about it after you let them know what is bothering you. If they do this, be willing to agree and make a deal. “Do unto others as you would have them do to you” is easily the most cliché thing in the book, but it is also one of the most true and applicable things you can know. Setting the example by being willing to accommodate your roommates’ needs will give them more incentive to adjust to your needs.
Be able to understand and appreciate differences you have with your roommate. Odds are, you will not find all the same things funny, you will not like the exact same movies, and you will not use the same cologne or perfume. Just because your roommate is different than you, do not assume that they think you are not cool. Likewise, do not think that your roommate is less cool than you because they are different than you. Different cultural roots can also be a sensitive area too, so be careful that you do not criticize the things they do differently because of where they grew up. At the same time, be careful not to interpret what they say about the way you grew up as criticism. People may just be surprised because they had never heard of that idea or way of life, but that does not mean they are being critical.
The last piece of advice is tough. It is not always enough to not be selfish, you must also be selfless. Doing things for your roommate and considering how they will be affected by your actions will make living with them much more enjoyable. For example, I lived in an apartment with a kitchen for several years. I cook all of my meals while some of my roommates eat most of their meals in the dining halls. Occasionally they get hungry and cook something at the apartment and then just leave the dishes in the sink. They eventually get cleaned, sometimes four or five days later, so in their minds they are not doing anything wrong because they are cleaning their dishes. The problem is, I have to cook in there everyday, and sometimes I need the dishes they used or I need the space in the sink that their dishes are taking up. This is very inconvenient for me. They are not being selfish, but they are not really living selflessly. Living selflessly does not seem very rewarding, but it actually is. It is one of those Biblical paradoxes that never makes sense until you experience it. Doing things for others is somehow the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. If you treat your roommate selflessly, then most likely they will do the same for you and then everyone will be a happy camper.
There is a small problem with all of these tips. Sometimes you just get suckered into having a roommate who is just a real jerk. Be careful in concluding this however, make sure that you have done everything you can to work out the differences you have. Do not take the easy way out and just conclude you have a jerk roommate before you try and deal with the issues you are experiencing. Because sometimes the person you thought was a jerk will end up being the coolest person you have ever known.
If you do wind up with a total jerk, there is hope! The first thing you can do is start praying that God will work in their heart to make them a better roommate. The second thing you can do is to constantly forgive your roommate, time and time again. God does the same thing for you, so let yourself forgive jerk roommates. The third thing you can do is be the roommate you want them to be. If you are constantly being selfless and joyful, it is going to rub-off on them. And if for some reason it does not, God will see your selflessness and reward you somehow. It may not be now, and it may not even be in this life, but God will take notice.
One thing I have tried to do lately is turn the things my roommates do that annoy me into acts of worship. The best example is, again, the dishes. When I see the dishes cluttering up the kitchen I try not to get angry, and instead I just wash them. This is not always easy to do with a worshipful attitude, and sometimes I need some positive music to help keep a good attitude, but I get the dishes done. During the rest of the day, I can look at the kitchen and not get really ticked off because it looks like an explosion happened in there. Instead, I can just smile and know that things are fine.
Having a roommate can be exciting. You will probably be closer to them than anyone you have ever met. If your roommate is not a believer, you will have the best witnessing opportunity of your life. The tips in this chapter especially apply to that living situation, because your roommate will see that there is something different about the selfless and humble way you live and be drawn to Christ through that. Living with someone is what you make of it. If you want to have fun with them, then you will. If you want to have things your own way and be prideful about everything, you will have a miserable year with your roommate. In my opinion, humility never looked so good.
Living with people is sometimes a new experience for people at college. It can be really fun, or it can really stink. In fact, sometimes it can literally stink. After observing people who have succeeded and people who have failed at being a roommate, I have some tips for living with others.
Let us begin by clearing up a common misconception. Many people say it is a bad idea to live with your best friend, but I do not buy into that for a second. I lived with my lifelong best friend and we had a great time together. In fact, we successfully lived together for two years. The problem is never how well you know the person you are living with, and if there are problems they can usually be solved. If you follow these tips, there is a very good chance you will have a fun and worthwhile time with your roommates, even if you are sharing a space that feels like twenty square feet.
The number one thing to remember is probably the one thing nobody wants to do: be humble. So many arguments and conflicts would be completely avoided if someone would just lower their pride. Sometimes pride can cause the stupidest arguments the world has ever seen. During freshman year, my roommate and I had an argument because I took some of his gum without asking. It made him really mad, but I did not think I had done anything wrong because I had given him some of my food earlier. In my mind gum was not a big deal, and really in his mind it was not either, he simply wanted me to ask for something that belonged to him.
If I had just apologized and said, “I will ask for gum from now on,” there would not have been an argument. Instead, I decided I wanted to be right and would not give in. After a few hours or a couple days, I don’t really remember how long it went on, I finally apologized and the argument ended. It was fairly awkward in the room, however, and the gum incident could have led to more intense arguments. Looking back, I know the whole situation could have been avoided with a simple act of humility on my part. Sometimes that act of humility is not easy to do, but when I think about it I would much rather humble myself, which God calls me to do anyway, than go through days, weeks, or even months of tension and awkwardness with the person I live with 24/7.
The second tip is to have a sense of humor. This is something that is not always easy to have, especially for certain people. I do believe there is a level of intentionality, however, that can give anyone the ability to laugh at things. There is always a choice: laugh, or get angry. When a roommate spills milk on your bed, you can either cry about it or laugh at it. When your roommate breaks the futon, you could either get mad or laugh about it. When your roommate accidentally uses your toothpaste, you can either get really ticked and tell all your friends about the problem, or laugh about it and go buy a new one. Obviously, there are certain things a roommate may do that you should not and cannot laugh at. But if they make a mistake and it is an accident, try and not be uptight about it, but be willing to laugh about it. More often than not, if you can laugh at your roommate’s mistakes, he or she will be able to laugh at your mistakes too.
The third tip is crucial. If you have a problem with your roommate, let them know about it. I cannot stress this enough, so many people are afraid of conflict with a roommate that rather than addressing conflict when it begins, they let it linger until it slowly develops into a much bigger issue that ends in an all out explosion of roommate angst and bitterness. There is a misconception in the world that telling someone they are doing something annoying or hurtful will make the other person hate you. Conflict can be handled without destruction and gnashing of teeth. I have found that many times when I present a complaint to one of my roommates, they did not even realize that they were doing something wrong and they immediately fixed the problem.
If your roommate is printing off pages when you want to sleep, let him or her know that it is keeping you awake and you need to sleep. If your roommate is constantly eating your food or wearing your clothes without asking, let them know that is annoys you and they need to ask before taking something. You should be ready, however, because if your roommate is being bothered by something you do there is a good chance they will let you know about it after you let them know what is bothering you. If they do this, be willing to agree and make a deal. “Do unto others as you would have them do to you” is easily the most cliché thing in the book, but it is also one of the most true and applicable things you can know. Setting the example by being willing to accommodate your roommates’ needs will give them more incentive to adjust to your needs.
Be able to understand and appreciate differences you have with your roommate. Odds are, you will not find all the same things funny, you will not like the exact same movies, and you will not use the same cologne or perfume. Just because your roommate is different than you, do not assume that they think you are not cool. Likewise, do not think that your roommate is less cool than you because they are different than you. Different cultural roots can also be a sensitive area too, so be careful that you do not criticize the things they do differently because of where they grew up. At the same time, be careful not to interpret what they say about the way you grew up as criticism. People may just be surprised because they had never heard of that idea or way of life, but that does not mean they are being critical.
The last piece of advice is tough. It is not always enough to not be selfish, you must also be selfless. Doing things for your roommate and considering how they will be affected by your actions will make living with them much more enjoyable. For example, I lived in an apartment with a kitchen for several years. I cook all of my meals while some of my roommates eat most of their meals in the dining halls. Occasionally they get hungry and cook something at the apartment and then just leave the dishes in the sink. They eventually get cleaned, sometimes four or five days later, so in their minds they are not doing anything wrong because they are cleaning their dishes. The problem is, I have to cook in there everyday, and sometimes I need the dishes they used or I need the space in the sink that their dishes are taking up. This is very inconvenient for me. They are not being selfish, but they are not really living selflessly. Living selflessly does not seem very rewarding, but it actually is. It is one of those Biblical paradoxes that never makes sense until you experience it. Doing things for others is somehow the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. If you treat your roommate selflessly, then most likely they will do the same for you and then everyone will be a happy camper.
There is a small problem with all of these tips. Sometimes you just get suckered into having a roommate who is just a real jerk. Be careful in concluding this however, make sure that you have done everything you can to work out the differences you have. Do not take the easy way out and just conclude you have a jerk roommate before you try and deal with the issues you are experiencing. Because sometimes the person you thought was a jerk will end up being the coolest person you have ever known.
If you do wind up with a total jerk, there is hope! The first thing you can do is start praying that God will work in their heart to make them a better roommate. The second thing you can do is to constantly forgive your roommate, time and time again. God does the same thing for you, so let yourself forgive jerk roommates. The third thing you can do is be the roommate you want them to be. If you are constantly being selfless and joyful, it is going to rub-off on them. And if for some reason it does not, God will see your selflessness and reward you somehow. It may not be now, and it may not even be in this life, but God will take notice.
One thing I have tried to do lately is turn the things my roommates do that annoy me into acts of worship. The best example is, again, the dishes. When I see the dishes cluttering up the kitchen I try not to get angry, and instead I just wash them. This is not always easy to do with a worshipful attitude, and sometimes I need some positive music to help keep a good attitude, but I get the dishes done. During the rest of the day, I can look at the kitchen and not get really ticked off because it looks like an explosion happened in there. Instead, I can just smile and know that things are fine.
Having a roommate can be exciting. You will probably be closer to them than anyone you have ever met. If your roommate is not a believer, you will have the best witnessing opportunity of your life. The tips in this chapter especially apply to that living situation, because your roommate will see that there is something different about the selfless and humble way you live and be drawn to Christ through that. Living with someone is what you make of it. If you want to have fun with them, then you will. If you want to have things your own way and be prideful about everything, you will have a miserable year with your roommate. In my opinion, humility never looked so good.
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